Sunday, February 1, 2015

Anger Management

So I had another outburst of anger but luckily this time I didn't break anything physically. What did break is my streak of being calm and composed. Such a shame, I was doing really well, but when I'm angry I just cant think straight. Blood rushes to my head and my arms start tearing with stress, no literally my blood capillaries burst open. Sigh! What triggered it? My ego was hurt and may be it still is but I feel a lil better. People like me do not live for themselves, even though I may spend most of my time alone but most of my actions are done keeping someone else in mind. Ahhh the efforts I put to make someone smile. The question is, what when I need to smile? I wish looking in the mirror did the trick. No matter how much I try to live for myself that just doesn't happen. I have pretty much accepted the fact that I am made to protect the people around me. But what when those who I protect disrespect me? Well, all hell breaks loose in my head. Everything can be fixed but nothing should be ignored. We must face things and try to solve difficult situations with tolerance.

I may have met a certain someone last week. This person had the same frequency as mine. Same emotions, almost the same experiences. The only thing that was different was her way of expressing things. Such intensity on the outside and totally unreasonable. All I did was observe and tap into different parts of her. Saw a new side with every tweak in provocation. She said something and did the complete opposite. Such similarity, when you have too many experiences you can get confused but you use a particular liner for certain situations. Whenever there was a fight, like every 5 minutes, I wouldn't even try to argue. Hey! Its better to lose an argument than losing someone who is insane just like me and I wasn't done observing yet. Perfect yet full of flaws is all I can do to describe both of us.

PS: When I scrolled up to see what title I've given the post, I realized my anger has subsided.

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